More Things Only I Care About (aboot! hee!)

The windshield wipers on the Jetta have been operating rather sluggishly for awhile now but I've been quite good at ignoring them (side note: I have a bit of a history with windshield wipers. Aside from the fact that I think they're under-engineered [nerd] for such an important safety feature, they just seem flimsy. On a trip out to Wisconsin in the old Nissan, I had the driver's side wiper arm come loose and it ended up flinging itself over the right side of the car coming to rest precariously on the side mirror. All of this during a rainstorm on the highway in Iowa. Awesome. The Neon had issues with it's wipers too. But I think that was just cuz it was a shitty car overall). This morning the wipers had my full attention. Why is that? Well it was pouring out and they would not work. Like, not at all. Hmph.

The Wiff is still on vacation (and home now, she didn't bring me a toy either...I pouted because I'm wicked mature. Oh, and now she has a cold and feels like crap, so her vacation is kinda taking a bad turn) so I couldn't grab the Old Girl (the Volvo wagon...not The Wiff! heh. She's going to punch me isn't she?) cuz that would mean that she would be stranded at home. She doesn't drive manual trans and plus, like, the windshield wipers don't work. I knew that she had to take Oliver to the vet this morning and so I had no choice but to take the Jetta. Good thing I always use Rain-X on the windows. I have to say: I frickin' love that product. It works just as advertised. I set out on my 15 mile drive to work and even with the Rain-X working for me, it was a bit harrowing. Especially at low speeds. At higher speeds say 35mph and above, the beaded up rain was swept away nicely from my line of sight. But below that it was still kinda hard to see. It was still waaaaay better than if I didn't have that stuff on there but not as good as working wipers would have been.

I did make it in to work without killing myself or anyone else so that's good. I just looked up how to repair/replace the linkage for the wipers and it doesn't look too complicated. I ordered the parts ($60 plus shipping, so like $73-ish) and they should be in around Wednesday of next week. That'll be next Saturday's job me thinks. Stupid cars.

And now in the interest of Full Disclosure: I've been sitting here at my desk since I got in this morning and only just recently did I notice that I was uncomfortable ... um ... down there. Y'know what I mean? Things had gone awry and needed ... attention. It's not that big of a deal (HEY-OH!!!) but I sit in a cube y'see, and said cube is right outside the a couple of offices. Plus, the added bonus of this being a very well lit and "airy" office environment (meaning the offices are all glass walls and one wall of my cube is also glass albeit frosted). The way that these offices are set up the women who sit in them are in my peripheral sight all day (and vice-versa). One of them has her computer monitor kinda positioned so that she's sort of staring right at me all day. It's kinda unnerving. I know that she's not in fact staring at me but every time I turn around to toss something into my recycle bin or write on my whiteboard, we make eye contact. It's awkward and I wish she'd change her seating position. If I had noticed my "situation" earlier I could have made things more suitable without much fanfare. But I hadn't and now I was faced with a minor emergency. I had to do something and that something had to happen now.

I got up, made unintentional eye contact with my neighbor, and then moving over out of her line of sight to the furthest corner of my cube, I attempted to make the necessary adjustments. I was trying to use minimally invasive procedures and I soon realized that this would not suffice. There was going to have to be an investigation into what was causing the issue. And since I'm a class act, I composed myself as best I could and made my way to the bathroom. Walking was a bit of a chore but I made it without further damage. Upon closer inspection it was determined that my underoos were to blame. I quite literally had my panties in a bunch. How the fuck that happened I have no clue. I fiddled and guided everyone to their proper locations, washed my hands (you're welcome fellow workers) and made my way back to the wonderful world of FDA regulations.

All is well now, thanks. Isn't that a lovely story?