He Likes to Push the Handle and Watch the Water Go Down!

Ow ow Quit It ow ow

So I dun cracked a toof. When I went to the dentist last week to get my teefs cleaned I mentioned to the hygentist that I thought that I had a cavity on one of my molar things. Turns out it is actually a crack in the backside of the toof. We took some lovely x-rays (bite wings they called them. I've heard of "bat wings" before... Oh, that's rich! Am I right fellas?! ahem..sorry) and the dentist dude came in and said that since the one in question is possibly cracked that I should come back the next day so he can "drill out the old filling and see what's going on underneath". Ugh. Oh! And do you know what sucks? Having a dude banging some metal thing like a frickin' hammer on your cracked tooth over and over again. Yea, that sucks real hard.

The next day I went back and he did just that, confirming in the process that my tooth is fucked and I'm going to need a crown. But I don't need it right away because he ground down the back of the tooth so that when my jaw is closed, the tooth won't come in contact with the teeth above it. He also put in a temporary medicated filling (which I didn't know existed). He then told me to call him on Monday (which is today actually) and let him know how it feels. This will determine whether or not I have to get the work done right away or if I can wait for a bit.

It is now Monday and I don't wanna get the work done right away. I feel ok and the sensitivity to cold liquids is gone (that's initially what made me think I had a cavity). This post may actually be the world's most boring post of all time but you still read the whole thing.

Oh Canada!

Overheard this morning at my dentist's office:

Three older women (mid to late 60's) sitting not anywhere near each other in the waiting room (each one in a separate corner). The eldest one picks up a magazine and makes a "Huh!" noise. She then looks over at the woman in the direct opposite corner and holding up the Newsweek with The Demon Sarah Palin on the cover (nice up-to-date magazines there Mr. Dentist Guy) says "Gladys! Look at her! I bet she HATES this cover!". Gladys does a snort and says "At least she's white!" I swear to fucking god. My jaw STILL hurts from hitting the floor. The third lady says "Yea, and I think she's pretty. I LOVE her glasses!"

We're fucking doomed. I'm moving to Canada.

Fire Good, Cat Snot Bad

Yesterday was the first real chilly day where it was cold enough (41°F outside when I woke up) to have a fire going all day. I still haven't seen just how this fireplace insert will perform when the temperatures outside get seriously cold but it'll be interesting (to me anyway). I thought I'd shoot a quick video of the fire going but Oliver (one of our cats) decided that rubbing his face on my hand was way more important.



For whatever reason, he is terrified of the Wiff when she walks down the stairs. I dunno why exactly. I think it's her shoes. They make a clunk-clunk sound and it freaks him out. He's a bit of a weenie. That's why he takes off at the end of the video, she dared to come down the stairs.

Open Letter to the crow that sits outside my office window

Hi Crow, it's me, the guy behind that big clear thing. No, it's solid. Yes, it's called glass. No, there's no way you can "just fly right through it". Really. I'm not kidding. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Y'see, here's the thing...I HAVE to sit here behind this window because that's where my desk and all my work stuff is. No, don't make me explain that to you. It's just ... look, I like you. Honestly. You have like nice feathers or whatever and you can fly so that's cool...but you keep fucking crowing every 15 goddamn seconds. I timed it. Yea, I know that's what crows do. I understand that. Right, you're a crow so the whole "crowing" goes along with that. But my point that I'm struggling to make is that you don't have to do that right fucking here. This is a big area, you could totally do that somewhere else. Hell, even if you just really dig sitting on this building, maybe you could go to the other side of the building and do that CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! bullshit over there before I shoot you with a motherfucking BB gun.

Just a suggestion.

-yer pal, Mark

Mike Schank RULES

I watched "American Movie" last night and lemme tells ya, what a fantastic documentary. I can't for the life of me remember who recommended it to me (Chris maybe? or did I just read about it somewheres? Like Pajiba? A.V. Club? I dun'member), but I had actually forgotten that it was even in my Netflix queue. So when it showed up Thursday I was like, oh yea, I wanted to see that. I'm really passionate about stuff huh?

But goddamn this movie rules. Specifically, MIKE SCHANK RULES. He is the king of non-sequitors. He's like a hairier, less verbal Karl Pilkington. Observe please (Mike's the guy in the purple hat):



But above all the Mike Schank-ness the movie itself is a great story about Mark Borchardt and his journey to get his short independent film "Coven" made while trying to keep the chaos that is his life from spinning out of control. Does he succeed? I ain't sayin'. Just watch the movie. You'll be glad you did.

UPDATE:
I have been informed that it was Jackie and Solh who told me about this movie. That makes sense since they call their oven "Oven". See the movie and you'll know how to pronounce that.

Me Am Cultured

The Wiff and I went to my sister Mary's opening last night at the Laconia Lofts Gallery in the SoWa district of Boston's South End. The show looks great and it was a chance to see Mary's stuff as well pieces from Sara Hairston-Medice and Resa Blatman. We took some pics and they came out ok but the flash tends to wash out the details as well as make big..uh, flashes on the pieces, but here they are at any rate:


this is in the lobby of the building.


one of Mary's.


another..the camera had a hard time with the colors.


and another..


this is an installation of some of Sara's work..so cool.


more of Sara's work..these are hanging from the ceiling in the corner.


Sara again.


this is a ginormous piece by Resa that greets you as you enter the gallery.


More of Resa's. This was the Wiff's favorite.


Another of Resa's. I kept coming back to this one.

So, yeah. Go there and take a look for yourself.

Oral Hygiene

I have a quick-ish question: during your daily ablutions when you come to the brushing the teeth portion of the festivities, how do you apply the toothpaste to the teefs?

For to be examples please:

1. dry toothbrush, apply toothpaste, start brushing

2. dry toothbrush, apply toothpaste, wet toothbrush under faucet, start brushing

3. wet toothbrush under faucet, apply toothpaste, start brushing

4. wet toothbrush under faucet, apply toothpaste, wet toothbrush under faucet again, start brushing

5. forgo the whole toothbrush thing completely and just start mashing toothpaste on your teeth with your fingers

I'll tell you what I do. I'm a #4. Although I will sometimes be a #3. Are there other options on the brushing the teeth front of which I am unaware? Might you educate me on this? You might rabbit, you might. Leave yer comments please...