Friday, October 17, 2008

Open Letter to the crow that sits outside my office window

Hi Crow, it's me, the guy behind that big clear thing. No, it's solid. Yes, it's called glass. No, there's no way you can "just fly right through it". Really. I'm not kidding. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. Y'see, here's the thing...I HAVE to sit here behind this window because that's where my desk and all my work stuff is. No, don't make me explain that to you. It's just ... look, I like you. Honestly. You have like nice feathers or whatever and you can fly so that's cool...but you keep fucking crowing every 15 goddamn seconds. I timed it. Yea, I know that's what crows do. I understand that. Right, you're a crow so the whole "crowing" goes along with that. But my point that I'm struggling to make is that you don't have to do that right fucking here. This is a big area, you could totally do that somewhere else. Hell, even if you just really dig sitting on this building, maybe you could go to the other side of the building and do that CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! bullshit over there before I shoot you with a motherfucking BB gun.

Just a suggestion.

-yer pal, Mark

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