Do I Really Look Like That?

Back in January I posted this story about a particularly embarrassing episode from my yooth. The overall gist of the story was how I became a giant baby when I got lost at age 15 in one of the safest neighborhoods in the Boston area. Long story short, after I posted the story I asked some friends to submit their interpretation of my breakdown on that faithful afternoon. I got these entries and I think they're all hilarious. Please to be enjoying:

 

 by Linda Bean Pardee (a.k.a. ScurvyAnn)

by Crispin Wood

 by Dave Blanchette (sorry about the watermark thing)

I frickin' love these! Thanks to Linda Bean P., Dave B., Crispin, and Dave L. for doing this for me. Who knows? Maybe this can become a feature here at Flunky Boy? Seriously, I'm thrilled that they all sent me these.

I used to write song lyrics back in high school and I had a little notebook with pages of them (along with all kinds of doodles and sketches). I don't remember what happened to them but I think I threw them all out one day out of embarrassment. I sooooooo wish I hadn't because I'm sure they were all unintentionally hilarious; all full of teen angst and posturing. But during the Great Purge of 2009 I found a sheet of paper with a song written on it. It didn't have a date on it but I think it must have been right around 1985/1986-ish. When I wrote it I probably thought it was the balls but hoo-boy it totally isn't. I'm posting it here in public in the hopes that maybe, just maybe someone will take it and make a recording of the song.

Calm Before the Storming

You will get out of my face now
You will leave, I don't care how
This has been a bad day
Leave, you know the way

You will close the door behind you
You will allow me the peace I'm due
This is not open for debate
Leave now before it's too late

Get out
Get out while I'm calm enough
Leave
Leave while you are able
This is not a bluff

You will be the focus of my violence
You'll agree that retreat makes sense
This is your final warning
This is the calm before the storming
This is the calm before the storming

Wow...Yea, I was serious about that. I meant every line. Holy hell. "Leave while you are able, this is not a bluff". Um, yea it is. You hadn't been in a fight since the 3rd grade and you LOST that one, chubby. Anyway, if you want to record a version of this and send it to me, I'll gladly post it up here. Again, thanks to all my peeps who sent in the entries for this post. You all rock!