I had a conversation last week with Lisi about music on ye olde MP3 player doohickey. He was asking me if when I'm listening on shuffle, was there a song or songs that every time they come up, I'll skip them. The answer is a resounding "Yes". It's not like I hate these particular songs but it seems like every time they come up I'm just not in the mood to listen to them. I think part of the problem is the use of the "shuffle" feature itself. Some of the albums I have on my toy are meant to be listened to from start to finish. Quadrophenia for instance. I left a party once because somebody had put their CD of Pink Floyd's The Wall on shuffle (plus the keg had dried up). I'm not saying that those songs can't stand on their own (I mean some of them were even released as singles). Oh no, but what I am saying is that if you have only one goddamn CD in your crappy-ass player (as it was in this case) and that CD is The Wall, don't hit "random". Just let the fucker play out all natural-like.
Here are some of the songs, albums and/or entire groups that I find myself skipping more often than letting them play:
- Most anything on The Who's Quadrophenia: I dunno what it is but I'd say more than 90% of the time when a song from this record comes on, I'm prolly gonna skip that mofo.
- The Hold Steady: Honestly, I need to delete this offa my toy. I liked one song and figured that I'd try the whole album. Then I stupidly bought the newer one too. Every time I hear that guy's voice I skip it. He sounds like a nouveau-hipster version of Randy Newman to me. Randy Newman in an ironic T-shirt and $200 custom hoodie. That's not a compliment by the way.
- Flogging Molly: The band itself. I've got 5 of their albums on this thing and it goes to them fairly frequently. And lately, I've just not been feeling it.
- Foo Fighters: Yep. I think I'm completely burnt out on them...maybe it's just a temporary scalding? Not sure yet but I do know that I haven't allowed a Foo Fighters song to play all the way through in months. And I only have the first 3 albums on this thing. I don't have the more radio-friendly stuff they've been pumping out lately.
- Soundgarden: Another one that surprises me. This is a band that was a top ten favorite of mine back in the early to mid-90's. I think the problems stemmed from the massive over exposure they got later on in their career (and good for them honestly. it was, in my opinion, long overdue and well deserved). It's just that I heard that goddamn "Black Hole Sun" song 65,000 times too many and it kinda soured me. Then Chris Cornell had to release that shitty solo record and as if that wasn't enough, ruin what was left of Rage Against the Machine with whatever the fuck Audioslave was. So now I even skip Louder Than Love songs. Thanks for that Cornell, you schmuck.
What I should do is go through this MP3 player and update it. I haven't added or removed anything in a few months and I tend to get bored with the selections I have on there. I should also go bum some tunes off of my friends to get some new stuff into my library. My attention span with a lot of music is fleeting. There are of course bands that I never skip but that's a different story (The Ramones for instance. Even if I don't particularly dig the song in question, why skip it when it'll be over in 2.5 minutes?).
As far as skipping songs goes, when you're by yourself the sky is the limit. You can skip song after song if you so desire. But what if there's someone else listening as well? What if it's their MP3 player? What if you're in a car with them every day to and from work? What is the etiquette? Clearly we need rules and regulations to make this a less contentious scenario. Luckily, Lisi and his car-pooling cohort have come up with just such a standard. I don't think it had an official name or anything (The Skip Rule maybe? I forget...Lisi talks a lot and I tend to tune out. Plus, I'm sure if I fuck up explaining the rules here, he'll make some comment or whatever) but here are the rules as I remember them:
All persons must abide by the rules in order for this thing to work properly. Any "free will" or other such nonsense will ruin the strict regulated fun that this game cultivates. Each person gets 3 skips per trip so on a daily commute situation that's 3 skips on the way to work and 3 skips on the way back. Now, if you do not use all 3 of your skips on the way in, you then get a bonus 4th skip on the way back. This can be advantageous if you find yourself in a "skip war" but we'll discuss that later. Ultimately, the maximum number of skips allotted to each person is 6 per day. It's up to the player to decide how to use them. Unused skips do not roll over to the next day. Use 'em or lose 'em.
There are different scenarios where a skip can be used. The obvious one is to skip forward (one song skipped equals one "skip"...that seems pretty self-explanatory but I just wanted to clarify the value of a skip cuz I'm a huge loser). You can also skip backwards. This is where having the upper hand skip-wise can work to your advantage. Let's say a song comes on that you like but the other person does not like. They use a skip to move forward to the next song. You then can skip back to that song if you want. Now, this could provoke the "skip war" I mentioned earlier. If you and your fellow player are prone to fucking with each other (and would you even be doing this if you weren't?), he/she could then skip that song forward again. Ultimately the person who has the most skips will win this battle. This is an argument for not using all 3 of your skips on the trip in so that you will have 4 on the way home. Winning a skip war can have consequences. If you use up your remaining skips to defeat your fellow player, what happens when a song comes on that you truely cannot stand? You will sit there and listen to that song, that's what'll happen mister. You should have thought of that before you acted like a douche.
There are other things that come up that could cause a person to lose their skip. For instance: you cannot balk. If you pretend your going to skip a song but don't actually skip it (read "fucking with each other"), that's considered balking and you forfeit a skip. It's a rookie mistake really. There are wild cards in this game too. Lisi has "The Banana Splits" on his iPod (not just the theme song either, I'm talking about the entire record) and if any of these songs come on, you CANNOT skip it. All players must sit through the Banana Split song. I don't know what I have on my toy that would elicit such a rule but I'm sure I could find something (hmm, maybe The Hold Steady have found a purpose in my life if nothing else than to act as a punishment).
Another way one could lose a skip is refusing to skip a song for someone who cannot reach the MP3 player/iPod-doo-dad (sitting in the backseat for instance). The person (typically whomever is riding shotgun) who refused to skip the song loses one skip and the person who requested the skip does not lose a skip. This is true even if the driver intervenes and skips the song for that person. This thing is organic and ever-changing so I'm sure that there will be new rules and and crap. Plus, I probably forgot a couple of the small nuance ones.
Essentially what this idea does is serve a couple of purposes. 1) to keep some civility on a daily commute (I know that my friends and I would have an endless skip war if there was no limit. We'd prolly end up breaking the player itself) and 2) to fuck with your fellow commuter. Sounds good to me.
UPDATE: Lisi made a giant comment below that goes into more detail about this wonderful game (as predicted). I had left out the ways to get "bonus skips" and the "free for all" description. Take a look if you have even more time to kill...which you clearly do. Are you still reading this?
5 comments:
Since we spoke last I've had the opportunity to go over the rules with the co-creator. Since this game has evolved so much over 2 years its hard to keep track of all the rules, but here it goes:
1. First and foremost the drivers iPod is always the iPod in play.
a. Every participants iPod must be equipped with the following music.
The Banana Splits/The Beagles (Split LP) "We're the Banana Splits/Here Come the Beagles"
Bette Midler "Cool Yule"
(I'll get to how these albums come into play later)
2. Each player gets 3 skips on the ride in and 3 skips on the way home
a. If a player doesn't use any of their skips on they way in that player gets a bonus skip for the ride home (4). Unused skips DO NOT carry over to the ride home.
b. If a player uses all 3 skips on the way in they get NO skips for the ride home.
c. Skipping back is considered a skip.
d. A song cannot be skipped once it has played halfway through. If a player is caught by another active player doing so, the guilty party must forfeit a skip. Too be clear, the guilty party will be charged for the original offense plus one penalty skip.
e. If at anytime the same band is played 3 times in a row, the first person to touch their nose gets a bonus skip. The bonus skip MUST BE used on that trip and WILL NOT affect your skip count for the ride home. (If you are planning on not using any skips in to get a bonus for the ride home, using your reward WILL NOT affect that). Also, the same artist can be displayed on your iPod with different names, for example: Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground are considered the same artist, Elvis Costello and Elvis Costello and the Attractions are the same artist.
f. If at anytime the same song comes on 2 times in a row, the first player to tug their ear gets a bonus skip. That song can be performed by two different artists (which is usually the case).
3. There are TRUMP songs as well as CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE songs.
a. If at anytime any track from the above mentioned album The Banana Splits/The Beagles (Split LP) "We're the Banana Splits/Here Come the Beagles" comes on, throw your hands up in the air in disgust, as there is nothing anyone can do. These tracks are TRUMP songs. They shall never be skipped!!
b. If at anytime any player SKIPS TO any track from the above mentioned album Bette Midler "Cool Yule" that player is forced to CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE. The choice is listen to the entire song for the opportunity to skip to anything you want after its completion, or FUCK IT just skip it!!
4. THE BALK
a. Once a player motions to skip he/she must follow through. If a player motions to skip but hesitates or pulls away, thats a BALK and will cost you a skip.
b. If a player in the back asks for a skip, a front riding passenger must follow through.
c. If a player wants to activate the backlight on the iPod to see the title or artist currently being played, he/she must make their intentions clear before motioning towards the iPod.
5. The End Game
a. A players last chance to skip comes as the driver approaches the exit ramp. In most cases their is a sign indicating the exit number on the entrance to the ramp. Once the car has passed that sign a FREE FOR ALL is initiated. (More on free for all later).
b. The song being played as the car passes the above mentioned sign must be allowed to complete before Free For All rules begin. That means if a player decides to make a skip at the last possible moment, that song must be played in its entirety.
6. Free For All has rules as well.
a. The player with the most skips left at the end of the game gets first skip. Second most skips goes second and so on. If every player is out of skips, the GUEST riding shotgun gets to go first, followed by any other passengers.
b. Nobody can skip until the player with control gives up control by making a skip. At that point the next player retains control until he/she makes a skip, so on and so on.
c. FREE FOR ALL FRIDAYS, Free for all rules all day both trips!!
These rules are a template . . . adjust as needed to suit your commute better!!
PS: Can someone help Mark put a motor on his bicycle??
almost forgot: Whatever song is on when the trip has ended will be the FIRST song on the return trip.
Good point Mark, however that rule is somewhat flexible as some people do use their pods throughout the day.
Another rule that came to me was the Cell Phone Rule.
I only play with one other person and if we use our cell phones in the car, as punishment for being so rude, the other player can skip as many times as he wants until the call has ended. If playing with more than two people you would have to discuss who gets to skip. Maybe you alternate?? I'm retarded!!
You guys are idiots. By the way Mark, Laura's mom does a leisurely twelve mile bike ride (usually longer I think) most weekends and she's going to be 78 this fall.
Jackie, only registered participants of the ride are allowed to make fun of Mark. Solh and I own exclusive rights to that privilege. Mark actually completed 16 miles of the ride, so tell that old lady to come get some of that shit!! YEA!!
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