Nerd Out

The Wiff and I went to see the new Star Trek movie last night and it was really fun. I'm not a huge Sci Fi guy and although my dad was a fan of the Star Trek TV series, I wasn't. I liked it, but I could take it or leave it (I liked the Next Generation much better personally...wow, that sounds exactly how I thought it would). My dad was a big fan of science fiction books, TV shows and movies so our house always had some kind of Sci Fi thing going on. I mean, he even liked Space 1999 fer cryin' out loud.

The Star Trek movie was a large, shiny, loud and well-made good time. I'm not going to review it further than that cuz there are much better people with way more talent for reviews out there on the ol' interweb tubes. Just take my word for it, it's worth seeing. And this is from a guy who hates going to the actual theater to see a movie. There's like all those people and stuff there. Ugh. We went to the Revere cinemas and since we had about an hour to kill before the movie started we decided to go have a drinky-poo and some food at the little bar they have there (it's called "Chatters". No, I'm not kidding).

It being Revere, there are...interesting characters there. The ones that caught my eye were this trio of 2 spray-tanned muscle-bound dudes (one shockingly-blonde & thinning up top and the other dude had jet black, slicked back hair and a fruity little pony-tail) in their early 40's with their holy-shit-that-is-awfully-tight-on-you Ed Hardy-esque bedazzled t-shirts and what I can only describe as a "Revere Girl". Look, I'm from Malden so I usually can't pass judgement but I'm doing it now. Wow. She had Lee Press-On everything I think. Let's just say I think she's start to melt before she'd burn is all. They were all sprawled out on a corner of the bar so we grabbed a little table off to the side. I wanted to be close enough so that I could listen in on their conversation (this is Chatters after all right?). Any guess what the subject was? If you said their workout routines and their brief stint in amateur wrestling then you win the prize my friend. Revere Girl contributed a lot of giggling and "wow"s. They also discussed how much Bret Michaels had sold out since the first season of Rock of Love. Go on and read that sentence again please. It was people watching bliss.

Unfortunately we had stupidly already paid for the movie so we couldn't just sit there and soak up the atmosphere. We settled up our tab and headed out to the theater. We'd paid to see the movie in the "Director's Hall" at the Revere cinemas. It's a little more expensive but you have assigned seating with wait service for the usual fair of movie goodies. Oh, and holy crap that shit is expensive. $4.50 for a "regular" popcorn? Goddamn son, that's crazy talk. I got a popcorn to share with the Wiff and a large diet Pepsi (that way the buttered popcorn and the diet beverage would cancel each other out you see...I'm always thinking) and the Wiff got a bottled water. Total cost was $14. I nearly shit. But I paid up and sat back to enjoy the movie.

About 3/4 of the way through the previews a stray popcorn kernel shell adhered itself to the back of my esophagus and I started choking. Awesome. So now I'm coughing and hacking while trying to decide if I need someone to actually intervene (for what would have been my THIRD Heimlich maneuver in my lifetime by the way...) when the shell in question came rocketing out of my mouth and landed on the seat in front of me. I was kinda disappointed that no one was sitting there because it was such a beautiful arc the thing took. My eyes were streaming with tears and my throat was killing me. Ok, no more popcorn for me for the rest of the evening. Crap. Stupid hair trigger choke reflex.

Without giving anything away about the movie itself, there are issues that I have with what movies in general think the human body can withstand. There's a scene where someone (not saying who so stop yer whining) jumps from a very high place onto a walkway and just barely makes it. He slams into the landing with his torso and grabs onto it with his arms. I know it's a movie and all but all I could think about was the amount of broken ribs he'd have if that actually happened. And this guy just gets right up and starts fighting some more. Hmph. Is it nit picking on my part and they are leaving these details out in name of moving the story along? I dunno but it certainly bugs me. I'm going to notice stuff like that and it can on occassion make me distracted enough to impact how I regard the film/movie/what-have-you. With regard to injuries that a character has sustained, if you've been in a big ol' brawl and yer mug gets all busted up and then a couple of scenes later you get into ANOTHER brawl (um, with a character that's supposed to be waaaaay stronger than you) and your injuries don't seem to get any worse, then that's going to distract me. No broken nose? No loose or missing teefs? Really? Have you ever been hit repeatedly in the face? It's not fun. Things rip and come apart. And they don't heal in a couple of minutes either. Not adhering to time passing pisses me off as well. I'm not the only one that this bugs either. I like continuity.

This not just a Sci Fi movie thing, it happens in a lot in media. At least in a Sci Fi flick they can maybe explain injury "issues" away with the "advanced medical treatment" b.s. or something. But that brings up another bone to pick that I had with the most recent Battlestar Galactica series. There were plenty of things that I loved about the series but one thing that stood out (among others surely but let me try to stay focused for a second here) was the seeming LACK of advanced medical treatments. Now in this case maybe they can explain it away by saying that there WAS advanced medical treatments available back on the planet that got all blowed up but since they were running bare-bones out in the middle of nowhere they didn't have access to any of it. But I'd like to think that by the time we are flying at light speed through galaxies and crap that we'd maybe have a cure for cancer. Or at least have a better way of treating a gun shot wound. Nit picking again, I know, I know.

I'm no fun to be with when watching these shows on TV either by the way. Especially if it's at home and I have the remote. The Wiff'll tell you all about TV viewing with yours truly. Here's a typical excerpt: [pauses DVR] "How come they haven't developed better armor for the soldiers by now? A simple bullet can get through that shit they're wearing but the spaceship has crazy advanced force fields or whatever?" [pushes glasses up on nose and takes a sip of scotch] "Also, how come when the Chief wanted 40 seconds to save 8 people of his crew before they were jettisoned into space Tigh said it was too long to wait? Then later on they spend fucking DAYS looking for ONE PERSON who is most likely dead?!" [Wiff rolls eyes and sighs]. I'm quite the prize, she's a lucky, lucky woman.