Fun Facts!

I have hang-ups coming out of my hang-ups. Here's a few listed in such a way that it may lead you to believe that I should be medicated:

• In high school I created a cartoon character called Herbie (The Hand With the Answers). It was essentially just a hand that sort of stood on two fingers and fought crime. No, I'm not kidding. It was a left hand too now that I look at the drawing. And no, you can't see it.
• I have never owned a dog nor do I want to.
• The last actual honest-to-goodness fight I was in was in the 4th grade. I lost (to frickin' Ricky Crotty) and my mom had to break it up.
• I have been to Graceland twice. On purpose.
• When I worked at the Malden Public Library I wrote the lyrics to Don Henley's "The Boy's of Summer" on the wall in the stacks. Not ironically either. I thought it was the shit.
• At a party I played "air bass" to almost every song that came on the stereo and couldn't for the life of me understand why the ladies were not impressed (hmmm, maybe they go for air guitarists?).
• I once threw up on a Christmas tree.
• I was married in Las Vegas.
• The Heimlich Maneuver has been used on me twice (thanks Mom!).
• I've never broken a bone but I did have my gall bladder removed.
• When I was a little kid, if I saw a car (or anything really) I thought was cool I would "add it to my collection" by tapping my right thumb on my right index finger. The more I tapped it, the more of that particular car/thing I would have in my collection. I would "delete" things by doing the same thing but with my left hand. What?
• The first boobies I can remember seeing were my nana's.
• I know all the lyrics to every song in Jesus Christ Superstar.
• I have a tattoo on my arm of a triskle. I tell people it symbolizes the three stages of life. I actually just like how it looks.
• I wrote a short story about a guy who kills his wife with a ladle.

There's more of course but I have to go to bed now. After all, it's 9:45 pm. Paaaaaaaaah-tay!