Elbows Akimbo

Work stuff is still the dominant activity lately so I won't bore you fine people (all 3 of you) with the details. Let's just say I'm in the middle of week #2 and there's a lot to learn. But that's the main reason I made this change in the first place: to challenge myself and get some new experience. So far, so good.

Moving on:

I was listening to the radio on my way into work the other day and a commercial came on for a local business. I won't say what the business is or does (mainly because I wasn't paying close enough attention and I forget what it was but also 'cuz it doesn't really matter) but it was clear that the guy who runs the business was doing the speaking (read: thick Boston-area accent). This is fine and dandy if that's what you're going for but right at the last minute when it was time to wrap up the spot and give out the phone number and address the voice switched to a professional announcer. I mention this only because a) if you hired the professional to do the last bit of the commercial, why not have him do the whole spot? b) ok, so maybe the guy charges per word or something which is why you had Billy the owner do the bulk of the ad, so why not have Billy the owner do the whole commercial? c) if you think that it's REALLY important to have the professional dude as the closer, maybe you should tell him how to properly pronounce your city's name. Or, at the very least, after realizing that he pronounced it wrong you could, I dunno, maybe re-record that bit?

The city in question? Peabody. Now, depending on where you are and whether or not you have heard someone from this part of Massachusetts pronounce this city, you may have read that as "Pee-bod-ee". That's a perfectly-understandable-3-syllable-having pronunciation but it is also fucking wrong. We will correct you once and only once and from then on we will expect you to pronounce it correctly. The correct pronunciation is "Pee-biddy". Notice that I lopped off one of the syllables. This is because it is extraneous. There is no reason that we cannot consolidate the last 2 into one singular robust "biddy" syllable (I have heard others say "Pee-buddy" but I refuse to acknowledge this version. I am a purist). Also, please note that some people actually say "Peebiddy" as one very sharp, fast syllable. This is also acceptable but I prefer the more accessible "Pee-biddy" version.


Not to be confused with P-Diddy
(or whatever the frick he's calling
himself these days).

When I watch TV I tend to mute the commercials (in real time as opposed to on the DVR...I just fast forward through 'em then. I know! So rebellious, I) 'cuz they give me a headache. There is an ad campaign for a NH store that I love, love, love. And not for the reason that I believe the geniuses who dreamed up these ads thought I would (nice sentence structure jerk-o). Well, technically it IS for the reason they thought but...oh never mind. It's for the chick in the commercial. I just did a Google search for her and I have unconfirmed info about her name but I could not find a video clip of the commercials in question. What is my fascination with her? In every commercial she does this thing that I can only describe as a variation of the Chicken Dance. I call her "Elbows" because of this. I'm pretty sure she's not aware that she's doing it but whoo-boy did I notice. I think I'm supposed to think: "She's pretty. Me want to buy things at that store now." But the only message that I get is the Chicken Dance song in my head every time her commercials come on. The Wiff and I sit there in front of our TV "doing the elbows" (as I call it). I really wish I could find a clip to put up here. I'll see what I can do about that. You HAVE to see it.

I got pulled over this week by a state trooper. My inspection sticker on the Jetta had expired (July 2009) and he got me just as I was pulling through the fast lane toll booth at the entrance to the Sumner Tunnel. Luckily he just gave me a warning but sitting there as the whole rest of humanity streams by and stares at you sucks. The Wiff, who had taken The Old Girl in that day was somewhere behind me and after a few minutes I saw her drive right on by me. She claims that she didn't see me but I don't see how that's possible. Whatever. The main problem with getting pulled over is not at all what I just described above, oh no. The problem is that the Wiff had just this past Saturday gone out of her way to remind me that the sticker was expired. She even pointed out that she was leaving the cash to get the inspection done right on our side table. I chose to ignore all of this and played video games and napped instead. The "I told you so" express has left the station, a non-stop ride to God-You're-A-Schmuckville. Population: me.