This Just In..

I believe that people who are on TV and in movies should be older than me. But as I get older (and older) this practice has become unsustainable (no one would want to see the kids of Glee portrayed by 40-somethings). Being immature and an old codger is very confusing. I still feel, maturity-wise anyway, like I'm 17 or so but then what happens is I am reminded of the harsh reality that I am so NOT 17 (like if I walk by a mirror for instance). Watching the NHL playoffs put my age in perspective every time the announcers talked about how OLD Chris Pronger is. He's 35. I've got 5 fuckin' years on the dude. There are guys in the NHL who are older than me (Mark Recchi and...well, just him really) but the bulk of them are under 30. It's enough to bum a guy out.

Music can be a different beastie when it comes to age. Again, I feel like people who's music I enjoy should always be older than me but for whatever reason it doesn't seem to bother me as much when I find out that they are (much) younger. Maybe it's because I generally don't watch videos or go to shows that much anymore. I remember the Wiff and I went to see The Futureheads a few years back and I was almost surprised at how young they were. It's like when we go out to see a band play at a club I think to myself that I'm close to being "that old dude" at the bar. This feeling of time slipping rapidly by also holds true for some books. The book I just finished was written by a dude 7 years my junior. As I was reading and enjoying his work there was a nagging thought at the back of my mind saying, "What the hell have I been doing with my life? What will be my legacy? A bunch of snarky remarks on a website that gets maybe 4 people a day reading it? Oh and a sizable dent on my side of the bed?"

There is one place where I know I can be certain that my Utopian ideal that the people on the idiot box must be older than me will be upheld: It's the local news here in Boston. If I stick to Channel 5 and (for the most part) Channel 4, I'm fairly safe. I cannot abide Channel 7 for a couple of reasons:

1. They have embraced the green screen, let's-all-be-standing-around-randomly, swooping robo-cameras, flash-cut shiny-shiny-shiny style of news broadcasting that FOX "News" pioneered. But Channel 7 has ramped it up to a degree that makes it unwatchable (to me anyway). Both Channel 7 and the FOX affiliate seem to assume that everyone watching has A.D.D. and cannot concentrate on an image for more than 3 tenths of a second. 
2. Everyone on their broadcast seems to be fresh out of school, all tan and just as shiny as the chromed-out set they are on. I can't take a story seriously if the dude announcing it clearly just had his teeth whitened or if the woman sitting next to him looks like she came from a Barbie factory.

This is why the old crows on Channel 5 are my favorite. And it's not like any of these stations actually report on more than just the surface of a story either. Oh no, all local news is simply headlines with very little in-depth investigation or journalism. They all do a similar job in that respect. If I actually want to learn more about a story I'll watch BBC News or PBS. God, I sounded like such a pompous twat there didn't I? But it's true dammit (although Jim Lehrer's beady little eyes do creep me out)! No, the reason I like Channel 5 is that they still have people working there that I fucking recognize from years ago. Even Channel 4 still lets that old lush Jack Williams stink up their airwaves. Ok, maybe that one is a mistake.

There are of course drawbacks to having older people on TV in this age of high definition. I've already mentioned Mary Richardson before but what about Susan Wornick? Holy hell. Someone box that thing up quickly before the children see it. If you are fair skinned, do not go tanning. Let Susan be a warning to you all. Is that being a hypocrite? Probably. It's certainly me being a dick. For the most part the reason that I like having these folks around is not that I think they're necessarily giving me a better product, it's all the same stuff generally, it's that watching them let's me briefly feel like I'm not on the downhill portion of life. I mean, hell, they're still on TV so it must mean that I'm still in my 20's right? Sigh...

And no, the kitchen is not done yet. Don't ask.