Consuming The Content

I had atopic I wanted to talk about (religion) but I'm not sure how to approach the subject at the moment. I'm gonna have to toss that one around a little bit more in me lil' noggin. I don't want to come off as flippant on the subject (as I am aware I have been in the past). Just...well, whatever. I have to think about it some more and then I'll put those dumb thoughts up here and stuff like that there. Wow. A new vocabulary low point.

I know I've talked about the other site that I contribute to (called Seriously Awesome Monsters) but I'm sad to say that it seems to have run its course. That's not to say it is dead, it's just slow at the moment (the last post was before Christmas and features a funfunsuperwaycool drawing by the lovely Crispin Wood). We used to post several times a week but people got busy and other things became more important (you know, like doing actual work that pays money). I'd like to have more stuff to put up there but I'm not sure what that will be at the moment. By the by, if you want to contribute a drawing (for free...sorry, we have no money) for the website, please email me and I'll get it up on the interwebs. You'll be totally famous and feel like you do when you discover some cash in an old jacket that was in your closet. No pressure though. BUT GO MAKE A DRAWING NOW!!

I think I'm going to dump Netflix. We got rid of the DVD part awhile ago and had just the streaming plan using the PS3 as the source device. But honestly I can't think of the last time I used the service. The streaming options kinda stink and now that the company is losing contracts with major distributors, I'm not very optimistic that the future for Netflix looks to improve. Plus, I'm a cheapskate and I'd rather not pay $8 per month for something I'm not actually enjoying. Sounds like I just decided to cancel my account. Yes. Yes it does. OooooOOooh! Maybe I'll get Apple TV or Roku! Time to do some RESEARCH (love love love me some research)! 

Let's talk about things I like shall we? Sure, why not? Podcasts. I listen to a plethora (oh shit!) of them and it seems they are all mainly comedy-related. What do I listen to? WELLHOLYSHITHEREISALIST!! EXPLOSIONS!!

• WTF with Marc Maron
• Mike and Tom Eat Snacks
• Superego
• The Pod F. Tompkast
• The Dana Gould Hour
• The Monday Morning Podcast
• The Thrilling Adventure Hour
• Girl on Guy (with my girlfriend Aisha Tyler)
• Doug Loves Movies
• Who Charted?
• You Made It Weird
• Comedy Bang Bang

There are others that I occasionally check out (like the NPR Planet Money and All Songs Considered) but these are the ones that I actually listen to on a regular basis. 

I also am having difficulty getting this song out of my head. Not sure why it sticks in there but I think it has something to do with her haunting voice. I need to do another hunt for new music soon cuz I'm currently skipping most of the songs that come up on my iPod. That means I have to go to sites like The Noise, AllMusic, Ryan's Smashing Life, HipHopDX, AllHipHop, and Pitchfork. Ugh. Seems like a lot of work. So lazy...I think I need a nap. Wanna snuggle?

Egregious Abuse of B-Boys

Back when MTV showed videos (no, don't worry, I'm not going to go on and on about that. Because honestly, most of the videos they played sucked anyway), a lot of the videos had awkward dance sequences. Usually this scene was not only unnecessary but sometimes was so contrived and forced that it made the viewer feel uneasy (i.e. Pat Benatar in "Love is a Battlefield". Skip to 3:21 and thank me later).

In the mid-80s someone thought not only would be a great idea to shoehorn a dance number into their video, but it might be superawesomesauce to have hip hop dancers (B-Boys, people...B-Boys) embarrass themselves as well. Mira, if you're going to have people dancing to your shitty song it might as well be a bunch of guys who actually know how to move (rather than the weirdo chorus line of people doing the same hackneyed "dance" all together). I get that. But what I don't get is why oh why are they being forced to dance to these songs?  Check it:

I like this song. Actually I like this song a lot (I'm a sucker for Robert Plant), but skip ahead to 3:58 for a hyper-embarrassing moment in 80s video history. WTF? Who ok'd this? Plus, you can't even do the "White Guy Dance" (a.k.a. Whatever the hell Springsteen is doing in the "Dancing in the Dark" video. Stop that Bruce. Stop it this INSTANT! Don't you bring Courtney up on that fake stage with you! FOR SHAME! BAD BRUCE! BAD!) to this tune let alone break-dance.

The abuse continues:

No one likes this song. Not even Billy. Give me anything off of Glass Houses rather than this horror show. But more importantly, why would ANYONE think it would be a good idea to have someone popping and locking to fucking Uptown Girl? El Diablo himself wouldn't even attempt it. Skip to 2:18 to see what I mean. And yes, I recommend having the sound on just so you can get the full effect of this bad decision.

Were the 80s finally done humiliating the hip hop community? Oh no sir, they were not done.

Wow. First off, please spend a couple of minutes bathing in smug entitlement of 16-year-old Tiffany (you should probably turn the sound down though...it's pretty terrible). In nearly every shot she is giving the camera the same "come hither" look. Or what she probably thought was her sexy bedroom eyes look at any rate. It really just looks like she has to take a dump real bad. But for this example I think it's the worst offender because here she clearly just inserts herself in what was probably just some dudes practicing or even doing a street (beach? boardwalk?) performance for some cash. Go to 2:24 and try not to be mesmerized by her shuffling feet dance move. I'll tell ya, that girl is going places.

The abuse of the B-Boys was not limited to these 3 videos of course. But I have another example here that while the dancers are not popping and locking or whatever, they are still totally fucking tossed into the middle of a video for no reason and the song is simply NOT a song anyone would want to dance to. Plus, they can't even seem to get their moves synchronized and that's just sloppy. Go to 2:01 in this vid. For realsies:

What. The. Fuck. God, I so want to punch that guy with the curly mullet in the face over and over again. I would say that the taller dancer dude is better but I think what's actually happening here is the shorter guy realized that no one actually gives a fat fuck about how this looks so he just phoned it in. That's how I chose to view it anyway.

And now, just cuz I loves you all sooooooo much, I present to you Cowboy Hip Hop. You're welcome.

Say it with me now: "That's Jammin'!!"

All the Thiiiiings Come Back to Yooooooooou

I was listening to ye olde iPod just now and a song came on that elicited a very strong "Oh god, I don't ever want to hear that song again" reaction. The song in question? "Dream On" by Aerosmith. Yea, I know. Shutup, I'm an old person. I think Aerosmith is one of those bands that should have broken up in 1977; maybe with the untimely death of Steven Tyler so that we would not have to see pictures of his old lady-lookin' ass anymore. Dude looks like an octogenarian.

So what songs do you NEVER have to hear again? I'm gonna list out a bunch that are currently stinking up my iPod that I have to purge. I'm sure I'm omitting quite a few that I would skip but these ones came up recently and my short term memory isn't what it used to be. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Mr. Cab Driver - Lenny Kravitz (y'know, I pretty much never need to hear another song from this guy again. Consider yourself deleted Lenny).
2. Smashing Pumpkins - I Am One (God, I think I'm going to blow them out of the 'pod as well. If I feel like listening to them I'll just tune in The Silversun Pickups and avoid Billy Corgan all together).
3. Jesus Christ Pose - Soundgarden (yes, I know I said that I was done with them before...but I'm like that friend you have that always forgives the abusive spouse. "Aw, she said she's sorry. I'm sure it'll be different now." It never is though is it? Fuck you Cornell, you sexy cunt).
4.  Paper Airplanes - M.I.A. (ok, it's catchy. Move along)
5. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley (I love Cee-lo and Danger Mouse but this damn song finds the base of my spine and nests there, eating away at my brain. Out, damn spot!)

Looks like I have some work to do...leave examples of the songs that you would like to avoid in the comments area.

You Shall Not Pass

I don't go out to see shows very often anymore. Back in the day (oh man, did I just write that? I did. And I did it completely sans irony too) it was a given that from about Thursday on through the weekend I'd be out at the local rock clubs watching bands. I'd sit in the back of the store where I worked and scour the local papers (usually The Phoenix) looking for shows to go to. I knew a bunch of people in bands so I'd see if they were playing or if there was a band I wanted to check out. One difficulty was the fact that I didn't drive and my apartment was in Jamaica Plain. This meant that I'd have to gauge how my evening was going and whether or not I had to hustle to make the last train home or not. Taking a cab somewhere was a luxury back then and reserved for...uh, special occasions. Let's just say I took the train a lot :-( .

The mere fact that I worked in a copy shop gave me an insight into who'd be playing on the weekend. Guys would come in (it was always guys coming in too...never the hot female bass player/keyboardist) to get copies made of the flyer for whatever band they were in. These guys had slaved over this frickin' flyer and were usually the most anal of all copy customers. "Dude, how come the motorcycle that I cut out of a magazine and then pasted on this drawing of me with my Telecaster looks all faded out?" It looks that way because ... well because this is just a fucking copy machine and not a giant 4-color printing press. Besides, no one is going to give a shit about the slightly faded chopper or the fact that your drummer's name is misspelled as they throw your flyer out or staple their own flyer on top of yours on the telephone pole. And no, I don't think that using goldenrod paper will get you signed.

Going to see shows back then meant going to a smokey bar crammed with people and the risk that your shoes were probably going to end up with beer on them (or something far worse depending on the scenario). There's an art and an etiquette to maneuvering through a crowd at a club without pissing off a lot of people and/or getting too annoyed yourself. The main thing to employ is politeness. The fact that you're shuffling sideways probably dipping your shoulder slightly and saying "excuse me" and "sorry" every two seconds lets those whom you are shoving out of your way know that you're not an asshole, you just want to get by. Even if the person you're trying to move past is totally blocking and being a douche, the onus is on you as the person who needs to pass through to be polite. Most people understand this process and will accommodate your passage. There are the occasional assholes who get all riled up but they tend to be rare. I have to admit I've used the ol' "rigid elbow" move on a few jackasses in my day. Basically that means as the person who is annoying you tries to squeeze by for the 50th time, you lock your elbow and prop it so that as they pass, they get a nice taste of the bony end of it. It's stupid really but it used to make me feel better back in 1991.

I do still go out on occasion and on Friday the 19th I went out with the Wiff, Sistah Souljah and Dee to see Ad Frank and The Fast Easy Women play upstairs at The Middle East. The show was great and I love seeing them play but now that I'm an old person I have some, let's call them reservations about going to see a band play. I used to go right up front at shows so that I could really get a good view and also to maximize the amount of damage done to my hearing (earplugs? we don't need no stinking earplugs! That was my mentality back then. Actually, it wasn't even that I thought that earplugs were "uncool" or whatever, it was more that I never even considered using them. I now have a lovely high-pitched sound permanently reminding me of how dumb I am). Now that I'm far more fragile and cranky I tend to go to the back of the club and find a place to stand where my back is up against a wall or pole or something so that when I get tired I can lean against it. But here's the kicker. It now seems that no matter where I stand in a club it is a traffic area.

The Middle East Upstairs is one of the few clubs that I used to go to that is still standing (R.I.P. Bunratty's, The Rat, The Channel, The Abbey, et al.) and I hope it doesn't go away (ok, TT's is pretty much the same too). The entrance is all the way in the back of this long skinny bar and once you go through the door, it's like your standing on a Green Line trolley on the T. Everyone gets jammed up in the doorway waiting to get to the bar and the little wall that separates this area from where the bands play doesn't help the situation at all. After standing in this area for a bit I made my way to the back of the room (by the soundboard) to check out the bands. Almost instantly it became apparent that this is going to be a major thoroughfare of peeps going from the bar back over to the far side of the club where the toilets are and back again. After the 100th time someone bumped into me I moved over between a couple of trash barrels and pushed them ever so slightly forward so that I had a buffer zone.

I thought that politeness has taken a backseat somewhat at shows but that's not really true. I think what's happened is that since I don't go out as much as I used to, I'm more sensitive to the near constant bumping and people standing too close. I'm old and far more cranky than I used to be so I notice that stuff more. I just have to remember that and get over myself. Ultimately I had a good time at the show and I was glad that I had gotten my sorry ass out of the house even if I did end up with beer stained shoes and gum on the back of my shirt (seriously...there must have been a wad of gum on the back wall and I leaned up against it for 3 hours...awesome).

When There's Lightning...

I like to listen to music when I'm working. It helps me focus and I get more done when I have music playing. Usually I'm just using my iPod but I will also listen to Pandora (which seems to misunderstand what music I'm in the mood for a lot of the time...even if I specify), Houndstooth Radio, or The Late Riser's Club on WMBR (I sometimes have a problem connecting to their feed for some reason. It's super annoying because I'm only like 4 blocks away from them but I can't get a radio signal AT ALL in this building so I have to rely on the streaming feed). This morning it was the trusty ol' iPod's turn to shine. As a crusty old dude who grew up on vinyl records, mixed tapes and eventually mixed CDs, I'm still kinda blown away by the idea of having the bulk of my music collection in one super convenient device. I haven't ripped every CD I own yet (mainly because it is such a profoundly boring task) but I'm more than 3/4 of the way through 'em and I still have a huge amount of space left on this thing.

With it set to randomly play all the songs housed within it's tiny hard drive, what gem do you think it served up this very morn at 8:11? Dio – Holy Diver. Heh. Ok, iPod, is that how the day is going to start out? Bring it. Dio did just that. Check this shit out: "Ride the tiger, you can see his stripes but you know he's clean. Oh, don't you see what I mean?"  Um, no Ronnie. I can safely say that I have no bloody idea what the fuck you mean. I don't normally hold songwriters accountable to have their lyrics be literal. I can appreciate a hidden meaning or a clever turn of phrase as much as the next guy. I mean gimme a nice metaphor and I'm on board for whatever you're trying to say. But I suspect that Ronnie might have been just trying to have a tiger in his song cuz he thought they were cool. Especially a clean tiger, they're the coolest.

Quick Post of Limited Interest

Not much going on as of late that I'd think would be blog worthy. I've just been working and trying to not get fired. So far, so good. I do have a couple updates I suppose:

1) The Sour Kraut: The project that never was is officially no more. I know, I know. Last week it was hauled away and it no longer can taunt us (AW and myself that is) with our lack of manliness. We didn't really get anything done on the project (unless you count cleaning it a bit and opening the hood a couple times). The long and short of this is that the car needed work that was/is waaaaaay out of our collective skill-set. Adding to the complications was the fact that we didn't have a garage to work in. All we had was AW's lawn and that really isn't good enough for a project car of this...um, caliber (read: giant piece of doo-doo that needed to be almost completely redone). So lesson learned ($400 a piece lesson by the way...ouch. Although, we figure we got about $375 worth of laughs out of it): if attempting a project of this scale, get a garage space to work on said project first. Then maybe, just maybe you'll be able to get the work done.

We may still attempt a much smaller scale engine rebuild in the form of my lawn mower. I know it's no where near as cool as an old Mercedes but we can work on it in my basement all warm and dry. I'm trying to not be too bummed out about failing to be a man. You'd think I'd be used to it by now but it still stings.

2) The Crack: Oh, and speaking of totally not being a man, the Wiff and I have hired a dude, who clearly IS a man, to come and fix our shitty kitchen ceiling. We're also having the mud room cleaned up. Basically we're gonna tart up the mud room in hopes that when the time comes to sell (c'mon economy, you can do it. You can help me get the bloody hell out of Lynn!), the people looking won't notice how wonky the kitchen/pantry set up is if everything is shiny and cleaned up. We should have this thing done by Christmas and that's a decent timeline.

That's about it I suppose. We're headin' up NH to our friends the Peplinski's place for Thanksgiving this year. I'm really looking forward to that. It's going to be nice and low-key and I plan on getting loaded. You have to set your goals and then follow through, people. Have I not taught you anything? Sheesh.

Hmmm, I'm-a-gonna throw in a 5 Song Shuffle here too just to pad this entry. I'm a giver. I give and give.

1. Stiff Little Fingers - Barbed Wire Love
2. The Frames - Keepsake
3. Q-Tip - Do It
4. Dub Trio - Felicitacion
5. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Rifles

I Left the House Again

I went out Saturday night AND it was raining. I want extra credit for that. Ad Frank and the Fast Easy Women played out at Great Scott in Allston and since I hadn't seen them play in about a year and a half I really wanted to see this show. Plus, it being their record release, I figured it was going to be a good show. So The Wiff, my sis Mary and our friend Dee piled into the volvo (a.k.a. The Old Girl) and headed over to Allston.

We had plenty of time and so we had decided to grab something to eat before the show. The Wiff had made reservations at this cool Japanese place called Shabu Toki. I had found it while I was online looking for another restaurant over there (that seems to have closed, thank you ever-so-creepy Google Maps) and it looked interesting. I dropped the ladies off at the restaurant and then went to find a parking spot. I figured that since this is my old neighborhood that I'd be able to find a place to park fairly quickly. I was so wrong. I went up and down Brighton Ave a bunch of times, down side streets (even past our old apartment on Chester St) and over into areas that I really didn't want to leave the car. Nothing. No spots to be had. And the rain just would not stop. I had hoped that this would keep the traffic down but no such luck there. Apparently rain doesn't bother young people in the slightest.

After 43 minutes, yes, FORTY-THREE MINUTES of circling and back-tracking I finally found a spot a few blocks up from where the club is. Now normally finding a spot that was relatively close to the club would be a good thing (and it was after the show), but I still had to walk past the club and to the restaurant in the rain. And since I am whatever the opposite of a boy scout is, I did not have an umbrella. "Never prepared". That's my fucking motto. By the time I got to the restaurant I was soaked. Drenched even. And no, I did not have a rain coat either. The good thing about this though is that since I was so delayed in getting there, the food and my beer were already waiting for me when I finally did arrive. That was pretty sweet.

And goddamn that Shabu Toki place was great. I didn't know much about what the whole Shabu Shabu experience was like but I'd go back there again. I don't know that I'd go back on a Saturday night (in the rain, did I mention the rain?) again but I'd certainly try a Tuesday or a Wednesday perhaps. I would recommend it to anyone too by the by. Plus, as a bonus, it's pretty cheap too.

After dinner we trudged back through the rain to the club. When The Wiff and I lived over in Allston this bar was kinda off limits to us cuz it always seems stuffed to the rafters with douchebags and frat boys (is that redundant? I think it might be). I can remember fights spilling out of there and onto the sidewalk and thinking to myself "yea, I'm never going in there". So walking into the club I didn't really know what to expect. The bar area itself is a little wonky but the space is ok. Unfortunately it's another one of these places that decided to have bands play as sort of an after thought. The stage is stuffed into a back corner of the bar where, as Kevin C. said, it "looks like that's where they used to store the empty beer cases". He isn't kidding. There really isn't much of an area for the crowd to stand and watch the show without completely blocking access to the bathrooms. So throughout the show there was a near constant stream (hee!) of people making their way to and from the bathrooms.

Normally I hate crowds (cuz of the whole hating people thing) but for some reason when I'm at a show I can be in a crowd getting bumped into every 2 seconds and I'm ok with it. I'm not saying I ENJOY it, but it doesn't make me freak out or get angry. I think it's cuz there's a sense of purpose or community perhaps when people are gathered in a tiny narrow room to watch a band play. Everyone knows it isn't ideal and so we just get along. I found a space where I could have my back up against a wall (to minimize the bumpings) and as it turns out the sound at the club was pretty decent. The band really sounded great and as always put on a fun, energetic show. I always run into a bunch of people that I know at their shows too so that's cool.

After the show ended I went and got the car and picked everyone up out front 'cuz I'm a fucking gentleman goddammit. When we finally got home I was all wound up so I knew I couldn't go to sleep right away. I watched some god awful television until 4am and then went upstairs and passed out. So there you have it: a night out with me with very little complaining. Ok, so I did moan about the parking issue and the fact that I was soaked oh and that people kept bumping into me and ... fine. Hmph. I still had a good time overall so there. Go by "Your Secrets are Mine Now". Do it.

Five Song Shuffle (a.k.a. "Beating a Dead Horse")

How can you tell when I don't have any ideas? Why it's when I post the next 5 songs that come up on my iPod of course! What an exciting time for you! Let's get right to it then shall we?

1. Joe Jackson – Got the Time
2. PJ Harvey – Water
3. The Clash – The Magnificient Seven
4. The Pogues – Summer in Siam
5. The Bags – Frilly Underwear
   

And there it is! Post done! I'm an author now! Exclamation point!

Let's do another 'kay? 'Kay. Nothing embarrassing came up that go 'round.

1. Danger Doom – Space Ho's
2. Big Black – Steelworker
3. The Germs – Shut Down
4. Tow Waits – Big in Japan
5. Death From Above 1979 – You're a Woman, I'm a Machine
   

Bored now. BYE!

So Very Busy

I've started the new job and I am on brain overload at the moment. I've been going to trainings and reading procedures and SOPs all week. My head is already stuffed full of movie quotes and lists of people who have wronged me so I'm a bit tight on space as it stands anyway. So how is the job going? Ok I'd say. I mean, this is only day 4 but I think it will be ok. Right now I'm in a temporary spot (or so they tell me...I hope to jeebus christmas this is only temporary) as far as my seating arrangement goes. I'm sharing a room (can't really call it an office although it does have a door. It's just a back room near the central files area) with another dude who sits directly behind me. He's a nice guy and all but I gotta say, I find it ... let's say distracting ... to have someone RIGHT BEHIND me all day. Here's hoping I get my own space sooner rather than later.

The Mercedes Project (a.k.a. "The Sour Kraut") hasn't really kicked off yet. We just got the car last weekend and I drove it to Andy's place. The poor old girl really needs some help. It tried to kill me a few times on the drive over as the steering is a tad on the vague side. The brakes work ok (but it does tend to nose dive quite a bit even when being gentle on the pedal. Gotta check the suspension bits) but the major issue is the transmission. More to the point, it doesn't like to shift especially from 1st to 2nd. There are a number of vacuum leaks in the engine so I'm hopeful that if we can sort out the vacuum stuff we may be able to help quite a few other issues at the same time. Also, I think the turbo is toast. This may all sound like a horror show but honestly we're looking at this thing like a frog in biology class. We're going to dissect it and see if we can figure out what goes where and why. We may even attempt trying to get it back into good enough shape to pass inspection some day but if we can't, that's ok.

Oh, did I mention that the driver's side foot well was soaked in oil and there's a hole in the floor pan under the accelerator pedal (which is missing by the way..no gas [ok, diesel] pedal)? Yea, I didn't think I had. I have to admit that this really bummed me out. I hope we can trace that leak down and fix it. Thus the name The Sour Kraut. It has been abused for a loooong time. We did give it a hose down and scrub (Andy even went to town on the interior, scraping off years of cigarette tar and sopping up most of the oil) but all the floor mats had to be tossed out. They were totally nasty, especially the driver's side.

We have a repair manual winging it's way to us at this very moment so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to get moving on some of the repairs fairly soon. Updates as events warrant.

What else? Hmm. Oh, yes, I've picked the bass up again. I haven't attempted to play since...holy crap...like 1991 maybe? Wow. I'm frickin' old. I have an old Crate amp that was sitting in a closet forever and my friend Gary loaned me a bass guitar so that I can practice. Right now all I can do is make noises but hopefully I'll eventually be able to make those noises sound good. Why am I doing this? Why not?

MP3 Shuffle 'cuz I'm Super Lazy

I felt like doing another 5 Song Shuffle today and since I was able to revive the ol' MP3 player (mad skills baby), maybe it'll be a good'un. Plus, I'm slow at work today so...

1. Teenage Bad Girl – Cocotte
2. Elvis Costello – Less Than Zero
3. Rapeman – Radar Love Lizard
4. The Upper Crust – Little Lord Fauntleroy (VOLUME UP!!)
5. Minor Threat – Cashing In

Nice. Ok, lemme do that shit again. I don't really care if you're bored. I'm having fun.

1. Bat For Lashes – Bat's Mouth
2. Rapeman – Kim Gordon's Panties (wow. these guy hardly ever come up in my usual listening ... weird)
3. Danger Doom – Benzie Box
4. The Pixies – Something Against You
5. Death From Above 1979 – Go Home, Get Down

ok. That's enough of that. Since this thing blew up on me last time I was forced to completely wipe the harddrive and I purged a lot of the stuff that I had had on here that I used to just skip through. In theory now I should only get songs that I actually like. Let's see how long it takes before I get sick of what I have on here. Or if this thing finally croaks for good.

Tech Fail

My MP3 player doohickey shit the bed last night. I dunno what happened. I had been added some more stuff onto it (including the song "Red Skies" by The Fixx...it's been embedded in my brain for a good week now so I figured that this might help me purge myself of it...no such luck as of this writing) earlier in the evening and everything was working fine. I went downstairs to play a song I wanted The Wiff to hear (Daft Punk's "Robot Rock") and while I was scrolling through the songs to find it, the player just went kaput. I stared at it for a couple of minutes while I kept pushing the on/off button several hundred times and mumbling "Oh no you don't, not on my watch! You will LIVE DAMMIT!".

I ignored Amy's questions about what was wrong and quickly went into the kitchen to see if I could get it to work (my logic is impeccable you will agree. When some high-tech thingamabob doesn't work, just move it to another room and try it again. Sound advice). I could not. I admitted defeat to myself and reluctantly pressed the tiny "reset" button on the bottom in hopes that maybe that'll do the trick. It sort of did in that I got the thing to fire up but not before getting this message emblazoned across the screen "After recovering from an error, the operating system will reboot after erasing all media. Continue?" Sigh.

After wiping the entire hard drive it did actually get its act together and reboot. I plugged into the laptop to start the reloading process thinking that at least now I have an opportunity to put stuff on it that I'll actually listen to. Ah, but the stupid fucking thing wouldn't let me add anything would it? Nope. It just stared blankly back at me with the "busy" symbol on a continuous loop. The urge to smash it against the wall was tremendous. I opted to drop it on the floor lightly (somewhat lightly) and ignore it. I then used the interwebs to research newer shinier MP3 players. Fuck you Toshiba Gigabeat with your craptastic battery life and clunky interface, you shall be forever banished to my attic.

So I'm now in the market for a new toy. Stupid jerky technology got me all addicted and stuff. Hmph.

Skip You

I had a conversation last week with Lisi about music on ye olde MP3 player doohickey. He was asking me if when I'm listening on shuffle, was there a song or songs that every time they come up, I'll skip them. The answer is a resounding "Yes". It's not like I hate these particular songs but it seems like every time they come up I'm just not in the mood to listen to them. I think part of the problem is the use of the "shuffle" feature itself. Some of the albums I have on my toy are meant to be listened to from start to finish. Quadrophenia for instance. I left a party once because somebody had put their CD of Pink Floyd's The Wall on shuffle (plus the keg had dried up). I'm not saying that those songs can't stand on their own (I mean some of them were even released as singles). Oh no, but what I am saying is that if you have only one goddamn CD in your crappy-ass player (as it was in this case) and that CD is The Wall, don't hit "random". Just let the fucker play out all natural-like.

Here are some of the songs, albums and/or entire groups that I find myself skipping more often than letting them play:

1. Most anything on The Who's Quadrophenia: I dunno what it is but I'd say more than 90% of the time when a song from this record comes on, I'm prolly gonna skip that mofo.
2. The Hold Steady: Honestly, I need to delete this offa my toy. I liked one song and figured that I'd try the whole album. Then I stupidly bought the newer one too. Every time I hear that guy's voice I skip it. He sounds like a nouveau-hipster version of Randy Newman to me. Randy Newman in an ironic T-shirt and $200 custom hoodie. That's not a compliment by the way.
3. Flogging Molly: The band itself. I've got 5 of their albums on this thing and it goes to them fairly frequently. And lately, I've just not been feeling it.
4. Foo Fighters: Yep. I think I'm completely burnt out on them...maybe it's just a temporary scalding? Not sure yet but I do know that I haven't allowed a Foo Fighters song to play all the way through in months. And I only have the first 3 albums on this thing. I don't have the more radio-friendly stuff they've been pumping out lately.
5. Soundgarden: Another one that surprises me. This is a band that was a top ten favorite of mine back in the early to mid-90's. I think the problems stemmed from the massive over exposure they got later on in their career (and good for them honestly. it was, in my opinion, long overdue and well deserved). It's just that I heard that goddamn "Black Hole Sun" song 65,000 times too many and it kinda soured me. Then Chris Cornell had to release that shitty solo record and as if that wasn't enough, ruin what was left of Rage Against the Machine with whatever the fuck Audioslave was. So now I even skip Louder Than Love songs. Thanks for that Cornell, you schmuck.

What I should do is go through this MP3 player and update it. I haven't added or removed anything in a few months and I tend to get bored with the selections I have on there. I should also go bum some tunes off of my friends to get some new stuff into my library. My attention span with a lot of music is fleeting. There are of course bands that I never skip but that's a different story (The Ramones for instance. Even if I don't particularly dig the song in question, why skip it when it'll be over in 2.5 minutes?).

As far as skipping songs goes, when you're by yourself the sky is the limit. You can skip song after song if you so desire. But what if there's someone else listening as well? What if it's their MP3 player? What if you're in a car with them every day to and from work? What is the etiquette? Clearly we need rules and regulations to make this a less contentious scenario. Luckily, Lisi and his car-pooling cohort have come up with just such a standard. I don't think it had an official name or anything (The Skip Rule maybe? I forget...Lisi talks a lot and I tend to tune out. Plus, I'm sure if I fuck up explaining the rules here, he'll make some comment or whatever) but here are the rules as I remember them:

All persons must abide by the rules in order for this thing to work properly. Any "free will" or other such nonsense will ruin the strict regulated fun that this game cultivates. Each person gets 3 skips per trip so on a daily commute situation that's 3 skips on the way to work and 3 skips on the way back. Now, if you do not use all 3 of your skips on the way in, you then get a bonus 4th skip on the way back. This can be advantageous if you find yourself in a "skip war" but we'll discuss that later. Ultimately, the maximum number of skips allotted to each person is 6 per day. It's up to the player to decide how to use them. Unused skips do not roll over to the next day. Use 'em or lose 'em.

There are different scenarios where a skip can be used. The obvious one is to skip forward (one song skipped equals one "skip"...that seems pretty self-explanatory but I just wanted to clarify the value of a skip cuz I'm a huge loser). You can also skip backwards. This is where having the upper hand skip-wise can work to your advantage. Let's say a song comes on that you like but the other person does not like. They use a skip to move forward to the next song. You then can skip back to that song if you want. Now, this could provoke the "skip war" I mentioned earlier. If you and your fellow player are prone to fucking with each other (and would you even be doing this if you weren't?), he/she could then skip that song forward again. Ultimately the person who has the most skips will win this battle. This is an argument for not using all 3 of your skips on the trip in so that you will have 4 on the way home. Winning a skip war can have consequences. If you use up your remaining skips to defeat your fellow player, what happens when a song comes on that you truely cannot stand? You will sit there and listen to that song, that's what'll happen mister. You should have thought of that before you acted like a douche.

There are other things that come up that could cause a person to lose their skip. For instance: you cannot balk. If you pretend your going to skip a song but don't actually skip it (read "fucking with each other"), that's considered balking and you forfeit a skip. It's a rookie mistake really. There are wild cards in this game too. Lisi has "The Banana Splits" on his iPod (not just the theme song either, I'm talking about the entire record) and if any of these songs come on, you CANNOT skip it. All players must sit through the Banana Split song. I don't know what I have on my toy that would elicit such a rule but I'm sure I could find something (hmm, maybe The Hold Steady have found a purpose in my life if nothing else than to act as a punishment).

Another way one could lose a skip is refusing to skip a song for someone who cannot reach the MP3 player/iPod-doo-dad (sitting in the backseat for instance). The person (typically whomever is riding shotgun) who refused to skip the song loses one skip and the person who requested the skip does not lose a skip. This is true even if the driver intervenes and skips the song for that person. This thing is organic and ever-changing so I'm sure that there will be new rules and and crap. Plus, I probably forgot a couple of the small nuance ones.

Essentially what this idea does is serve a couple of purposes. 1) to keep some civility on a daily commute (I know that my friends and I would have an endless skip war if there was no limit. We'd prolly end up breaking the player itself) and 2) to fuck with your fellow commuter. Sounds good to me.

UPDATE: Lisi made a giant comment below that goes into more detail about this wonderful game (as predicted). I had left out the ways to get "bonus skips" and the "free for all" description. Take a look if you have even more time to kill...which you clearly do. Are you still reading this?

Really? That's THIS Weekend? Shit.

I need to be more honest with myself. I still tend to suffer under the delusion that I'm social and a night owl. This from a guy who is usually asleep by 10 pm (or earlier...wassup ladies?). Back in September I had tickets to go see The Walkmen play in Cambridge and I didn't end up going. The show was on a Thursday night (a "school night") and I had been in a training session all week so I was dead tired. I was driving back from the training, stuck in traffic on the dreaded Rt. 128 when it dawned on me that there was no way I would be able to get myself to go to the show that night. If the show was at like 8 or 9 pm then maybe (and that's a pretty big 'maybe' too) I would have made it. But they didn't even go on until 11pm which means that I'd get home, have dinner, watch a lil' boob tube and then try to pry myself off of my chair to go BACK into town for the show. I'm too old and tired for that. Especially if I have to drag myself into work the next day.

Ok, so lesson learned right? Nope. Back in December (I think) The Wiff found out that And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead were coming to town and we should totally go! Hmm. They were playing on a Sunday night in March so I could even take the next day off if I planned for it. Which of course I didn't. Since we bought the tickets so far in advance, I procrastinated on asking for that Monday off. Flash forward to a week before the show and The Wiff reminds me that "Hey guess what? The show is this Sunday (last Sunday now, March 1st)." Oh crap. I can't possibly get the Monday off because of stuff going on at work. Oh crap. There's also a huge-ass snow storm coming that night as well. "Um...honey? Yeah, um...I don't think I wanna go to this show either." See? I'm dumb.

That's 2 shows within a span of 5 months that I've blown off AFTER buying tickets. I even tried desperately to get someone to buy the tickets off me before they became useless but alas, everyone I know is also old and tired. Either that or they didn't know who the band was.

But on March 14th, The Wiff and I are going to see Louis CK at The Orpheum and I'm really excited for this show. Plus: it's on a Saturday! I'm a big fan of his comedy and we scored the same seats that we had for the Eddie Izzard show. Bonus.

Oh by the by, I'm going to do the Five Boro Bike Tour on May 3rd down in New York. Now I just have to get back into biking shape within 2 months. Hmm, years of abuse and neglect turned 180° in a really short time? No problem. I'm looking forward to this ride because it's a ride not a frickin' race. I can pedal my girth at my own damn pace thank you very much. Plus it's a good excuse to hang out with my friends Dave and Solh. I just hope I don't blow it off. No promises.

5 Song Shuffle (as presented by Pandora Radio)

Kinda slow here today so here's Pandora Radio's vision of a 5-Song Shuffle fully customized for me and crap like that. This will be interesting (to me anyway) since I've already skipped the alotted 5 songs this hour already. Here goes:

1. Run-D.M.C. - My Adidas (nice! hey, didja know that D.M.C. stands for "Devistating Mic Control"? You just got learned)
2. Songs: Ohia - How to be Perfect Men (ow, song whiplash)
3. Mark Lanegan - The Winding Sheet
4. The Ramones - Glad to See You Go
5. De La Soul - Breakadawn

And that's that. Pardon me whilst I go back to work.

My Need to Listen to More Stuff

I wish I could say that I was always this charming. So worldly. So wise and so well versed in all things cultured. But the truth is I'm just a dumb kid from Malden, Ma and if you're familiar with that particular part of our proud nation, you know damn well I ain't so well rounded. Here are some bands/artists that I deeply treasure now that I wish to jeebus christmas hisself that I had any inkling that they existed when they were in their heyday.

The Clash (and in turn any and all punk/hardcore): Just as others have lamented about maybe getting introduced through nefarious sources, here's my dirty admission: I didn't know a damn thing about them until the "Rock the Casbah" video blew my little suburban mind on the MTV. I immediately ran to my eldest sister's record collection to see if she had any their records. Then it dawned on me that she was 300+ miles away at college. Dammit dammit dammit. Jordan Marsh certainly won't carry THIS stuff! (turns out they did...whodathunkit?) Soon after that I discovered that there were all kinds of stores that actually ONLY SOLD records. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You mean you don't have to go to a frickin' department store and wade through sterilized record bins to get some tunes? Places like In Your Ear and Taang! I literally had no idea existed.

Elvis Costello: I actually remember my sister Theresa getting mad at me because I refused to listen to "just one fucking song!" from him. "His voice is all gooey!" I whined and returned to my Bay City Rollers 45 record. Goddammit. She did eventually get me to listen and I had to concede that he was, in fact, fantastic. Side note: While I loved (for the most part) Elvis' talk show thing that he had on the Sundance channel, I recently watched the episode where he interviewed The Police. Now Sting has annoyed me for many moons now (even before the frickin' Jaguar commercial...whatta doooooosh) so I just always assumed that it was mostly HIS fault that the group couldn't keep their shit together. Then I saw Stuart Copeland on Elvis' show. Holy frickin' frick. It was all I could do from trying to kick him in the nads on my TV (The Wiff tells me that that would have been a bad thing for not only me and my toes but the beloved TV itself. Oh, and apparently Copeland would have remained unharmed which I think we can all agree is not at all what I was shooting for. Pardon me whilst I dangle my preposition all up in your face). Unfortunately I couldn't find a clip of the acutal interview Elvis did with Copeland by himself. That's where the supreme dickiness is evident. Oh, and Sting came off really well. Charming even. Andy Summers was, in a word, dull.

The Cure: I spent most of my high school days deeply rooted in bands that no longer existed. Led Zep, The Doors, Black Sabbath (technically they were still around but once Ozzy was no longer at the helm they were dead to me), The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, etc. My younger sister Mary was/is waaaaaay hipper than I and had locked onto a bunch of groups (The Pixies, The Smiths, The Sugarcubes) that my classic rock brain couldn't wrap itself around. But here's the thing. Our bedrooms were right next to each other and I could hear her little boombox cranking out these songs. And I liked them. But I could NOT allow my sister to know that I liked the stuff that she liked (we were mortal enemies at the time..the price you pay for living in tiny apartments with too many people). As a matter of fact, I only recently let her know that she had turned me on to a whole slew of new-to-me bands. And by recently I mean in that last sentence. There you go Mary. You're smarter than me ok? Sheesh.

Rap music: I can remember being incensed that Aerosmith had collaborated with Run DMC and had allowed them to "ruin" Walk This Way. What I hadn't realized was that the guys in Aerosmith are a bunch of whores who should have stopped making records after Draw the Line (ok, maybe they could have quit halfway through Night in the Ruts) and that Run DMC actually saved their sorry asses (I'm still kinda pissed at Run DMC for that). But rap had been around for awhile by then and had seeped into my brain. I just hadn't given it its due. When I finally did I was voracious. I wanted to hear everything. That's true with most of my "discoveries". Once I realize that I like some kind of music I try to find other stuff that I might find interesting. That's when it pays to have peeps who actually can recommend stuff to you (big shout-out to Chris Dahlen).

And that's the thing I guess. I like hearing new things (or at least new to me) and I love it when people I know can show me the way. I recently returned the favor by sending my friend Slimmy a bunch of MP3's on a CD. He had asked me to send him stuff that he would not have heard and I had a blast putting that CD together, so much so that I made him another one. Of course there are other groups and bands or whatever that I've left out here that I wish I could claim I was a fan of from day one but I realize that it really doesn't matter. I like them now and that's enough. I'm through being cool.

Hey Look! A New Post!

Every new year people do those end of year lists things and I had actually thought about doing one cuz god knows I love me a list. However, I of course procrastinated and now it's kinda silly to have a end of 2008 list but I'm here to buck that trend. I'm a fuckin' trend-SETTER dammit! Look at me setting that trend! Work it!

Sorry about that. I got all worked up. Here's the thing. I don't really wanna do a list anymore. At least not one that tries to sum up things that I liked/disliked in 2008 (let's face it, the dislike side would be waaaaaaay too long) so I'm just gonna throw up 5 things that I was digging way back in 2008.



The Aggrolites.



And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead.



Blonde Redhead.



The Walkmen.



Eagles of Death Metal.

Now I'm not saying that these are the top 5 or even that I've only just recently come across them (although I think that may be true for Blonde Redhead...), but they are a little snapshot of my music interests.

Honerable Mention:


Dizzee Rascal. Sampling Billy Squier? Oh hell yea I'm there.

5-Song Shuffle (again)

I'm gonna do one of these again. Kind of a cop-out on the posting front but this shuffle is a bit different in that I'm using the music that's on my computer as opposed to just what's on my MP3 player-thingie. So there's more stuff to shuffle is what I'm getting at...

1. Deftones - Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)
2. Beastie Boys - Root Down
3. Throwing Muses - I'm Alive
4. Silver Jews - Federal Dust
5. Cat Power - Fool

That one didn't satisfy. I'm-a-gonna shuffle another 5.

1. Madvillain - Sickfit
2. Judas Priest - Screaming for Vengeance
3. P.J. Harvey - Beautiful Feeling
4. Minor Threat - I Don't Wanna Hear It
5. The Pipettes - Pull Shapes

Ahhhhh. That's better. A thoroughly confusing mix.

5-Song Shuffle

1. The Walkmen - New Year's Eve
2. The Smiths - The One I Want I Can't Have
3. Danger Doom - No Names
4. Buzzcocks - Oh Shit
5. Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month

5 Song Shuffle

Here's a game that I play sometimes at work with some peeps here (honestly, I do...what?). I got it from Pajiba. You put yer MP3 player doohickey on shuffle and confess the first 5 songs that come up. I haven't changed out the songs on this thing in a while so let's see what I get:

1. The Pogues - Bottle of Smoke
2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Turn Into
3. The National - Ada
4. Big Black - Seth
5. Eagles of Death Metal - I Only Want You

whew. That wasn't too bad actually. I know there are some guilty pleasures on this toy of mine and according to the rules, I would have to fess up. But now I don't. Wheeeeeeee!