We Have Had Our Summer Evenings, Now for October Eves!

The change of the seasons: It's the one thing that people who move away from this part of the country say that they miss. But as my friend Janine pointed out, it's mostly autumn that they miss. It is hands-down my favorite season. Autumn to me is brisk mornings with dew on the grass, clear blue skies, leaves changing color and clean air. It's a light jacket and the nice walk down by the water. It's poems by Dickinson, Keats or Thoreau. It's apple picking, cider donuts and pies. It's sitting in the living room reading a book with a fire going. It is glorious and it should last from mid-September to mid-November.

This year? Yea, this morning it was 58 degrees downstairs in the house. It was 61 upstairs. Fuck that shit. Last night I closed the storm windows in the dining room and some of them upstairs but there are still some open. I had a fire blazing last night so it was at least comfortable downstairs. But this morning when we got up we had to turn the heat on earlier than we have ever had to in the past (or at least earlier than I can remember us doing). Granted I only had the thing come on to 63 degrees but that took the chill out of the air and made getting ready for work more bearable. Tonight we'll close up the rest of the house and hopefully we won't need to have the heat on at all. Usually, since I'm a stingy cunt I like to try to wait until the first of November before turning on the heat. I think I've been able to do that maybe 3 or 4 times since we've lived in that house.

Autumn also means that winter is fast approaching and with that so is my birthday. I'm turning 40 goddamn years old in January. Holy piss. Now I know that people say that "Forty is the new thirty!". Mmm-hmm. You know who says that? Old people, that's who. Forty is forty and that's that. Luckily for my mindset I'm really only as mature as a 15-year-old so I've got that going for me. I'm not one for harping on age normally but this one has me kind of off balance. I guess I just never really thought about getting older and being a 40 year old guy. Yea, yea, stop saying "but it's not really old". I know this. But it's older than I ever really thought I'd be. Not that I'm saying I thought about dying or anything like that, but since I'm not really a well-thought out guy, I just didn't allow myself to think or plan about what I would want/need at this age. Or in the future for that matter. Plus, my own immediate family history doesn't bode well for getting older as both my parents died at a young age, Mom at 58 and Dad at 61.

So what does that mean? I dunno. Thinking about this kind of stuff is new territory for me. I have a pretty good life overall (great marriage, fantastic friends and family, decent job and a house that is still standing) and for the first time in a while the future is looking pretty stable. I say this with trepidation because although I don't believe in much, I do believe in "jinxing" things. Plus, the economy and my own checkered past tell me that there is always the possibility of losing my job and then at least one aspect of my life will suffer. But I've made it through that stuff before so it doesn't worry me as much as it used to. The Wiff and I decided years ago to not have kids and I am still fully on board with that decision. I think it was the right one for us and will continue to be so. That being said, I think there is room for a change soon. Ha, no, not on the "no kids" front. I'm talking about living where we live. Having no kids makes this decision easier to execute.

Ever since I was 10 years old or so I've wanted to live in Maine. Why Maine? Well, because it isn't Massachusetts (anymore). Real estate in Maine, in comparison with what I'm used to here, is affordable. The biggest issue of course is looking for work. Finding a place to live with a decent mortgage is a pretty large problem too. I've been looking at places near the Augusta area and the prices are reasonable. I would like this to happen within the next 3 years. "But Mark, you're a city boy. You've never lived outside of city in anything even remotely rural. Won't you go sort of stir crazy?" I dunno. I don't think so. I have less inclination to go out to clubs to watch a band play like I used to (I still do it on occasion but just not EVERY weekend like before) so I don't feel like that'll be a huge issue. Plus, keep in mind the fact that I really, honestly do not like people and places where there are ... people. The occasional night out with me has usually turned into me hating on those around me and the Wiff annoyed at how intolerant I can be. So maybe living in a less crowded area is exactly what the doctor ordered.

But whatever does happen it'll be ok. For reals. I'm less of a worry-wart than I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a mess but less so. Plus, I'm looking forward to the trip to Ireland the Wiff and I are taking for my b-day. We're going to Dublin, then down to Cork, Kinsale, and swing up the west coast to Galway. I can't wait. We went to the west coast of Ireland a few years back on a bus tour with a bunch of people but this time it'll just be the two of us and a little rental car. Maybe we'll move there instead....hmmmm.

So Very Busy

I've started the new job and I am on brain overload at the moment. I've been going to trainings and reading procedures and SOPs all week. My head is already stuffed full of movie quotes and lists of people who have wronged me so I'm a bit tight on space as it stands anyway. So how is the job going? Ok I'd say. I mean, this is only day 4 but I think it will be ok. Right now I'm in a temporary spot (or so they tell me...I hope to jeebus christmas this is only temporary) as far as my seating arrangement goes. I'm sharing a room (can't really call it an office although it does have a door. It's just a back room near the central files area) with another dude who sits directly behind me. He's a nice guy and all but I gotta say, I find it ... let's say distracting ... to have someone RIGHT BEHIND me all day. Here's hoping I get my own space sooner rather than later.

The Mercedes Project (a.k.a. "The Sour Kraut") hasn't really kicked off yet. We just got the car last weekend and I drove it to Andy's place. The poor old girl really needs some help. It tried to kill me a few times on the drive over as the steering is a tad on the vague side. The brakes work ok (but it does tend to nose dive quite a bit even when being gentle on the pedal. Gotta check the suspension bits) but the major issue is the transmission. More to the point, it doesn't like to shift especially from 1st to 2nd. There are a number of vacuum leaks in the engine so I'm hopeful that if we can sort out the vacuum stuff we may be able to help quite a few other issues at the same time. Also, I think the turbo is toast. This may all sound like a horror show but honestly we're looking at this thing like a frog in biology class. We're going to dissect it and see if we can figure out what goes where and why. We may even attempt trying to get it back into good enough shape to pass inspection some day but if we can't, that's ok.

Oh, did I mention that the driver's side foot well was soaked in oil and there's a hole in the floor pan under the accelerator pedal (which is missing by the way..no gas [ok, diesel] pedal)? Yea, I didn't think I had. I have to admit that this really bummed me out. I hope we can trace that leak down and fix it. Thus the name The Sour Kraut. It has been abused for a loooong time. We did give it a hose down and scrub (Andy even went to town on the interior, scraping off years of cigarette tar and sopping up most of the oil) but all the floor mats had to be tossed out. They were totally nasty, especially the driver's side.

We have a repair manual winging it's way to us at this very moment so I'm hopeful that we'll be able to get moving on some of the repairs fairly soon. Updates as events warrant.

What else? Hmm. Oh, yes, I've picked the bass up again. I haven't attempted to play since...holy crap...like 1991 maybe? Wow. I'm frickin' old. I have an old Crate amp that was sitting in a closet forever and my friend Gary loaned me a bass guitar so that I can practice. Right now all I can do is make noises but hopefully I'll eventually be able to make those noises sound good. Why am I doing this? Why not?

So What's This Aboot the Economy Being in the Shitter or Something?

A while back I hinted that I may have some news soon. I'm sure that the interwebs was simply abuzz with people desperately trying to figure out what the news might be. The speculation, ranging from a) "Does he have a vagina?" to b) "Oh god, he didn't get The Wiff pregnant did he? Oh lord help us all if that's the case" to c) "Meh, don't care...wonder if my cousins have posted anymore stuff about the weather on Facebook yet.." (answers: a) practically. b) nope. see "a)". c) yes, of course they have. And they also wrote "LOL" a hundred times too. You share DNA with these people...good for you), was so overwhelming and quite frankly, embarrassing that I had to go into hiding for a little while. It's the life I chose. The life of the author of an amazingly popular blog. I'm talking upwards of six to seven honest-to-goodness hits per week. The numbers don't lie people. Plus, I get at least one person a month from Germany. Granted, they're actually searching for weirdo German porn when they type "Flunky Boy" into the search engine but that's not the point! They come to my site and sometimes don't immediately leave. Top that!

So then, what IS the news? Oh that. Yea, I got myself a new job. That's all. I hadn't really been looking for a job either. I have a decent gig at my current place and I'm so totally lazy that I'd prolly have stayed there for, well, forever but this opportunity presented itself so I checked it out. A guy I worked with at my current job had left to go work for this other company about a year ago and I had stayed in touch with him. He mentioned this position opening up back in what? like March or something of this year. I talked to the hiring manager on a phone interview and when he mentioned the position called for having some people report to me I kinda balked. Look, I've only been in this industry for a little over 5 years now and I don't think that I'm qualified to be someone's manager. Managers need to be able to help mentor and develop the people in their ...HA! oh god, I couldn't get through the whole sentence. I tried...I really did. But seriously...it's true. Plus, I've been a manager-dude before and I didn't particularly like it. I liked the private office part but not so much the solving other people's problems.

So the guy was kinda like "Oh, well...hmmm." and I figured I had just blown the interview right then and there. But I didn't want to be dishonest either. So we chatted some more about my experience and yada yada and said our good-byes. "Damn, damn, damn" I thought. "Stupid mouth! Why don't you say the things that I need you to say?" My mouth had no response. Typical. It'll prolly think of some awesome comeback in the car ride home. Then I hear through the grapevine that the company had gone on not quite a hiring freeze but a cooling period. Ok fine. So, I won't be moving on just yet. S'ok. I gots a job and I can pay for stuff. No biggie.

But it was a biggie. See, I liked the hiring manager guy I had talked to on the phone. The company sounded like they were doing some cool stuff and against my better judgement (at the time) I had become invested. Nothing happened for months and then my buddy IM'd me ("takeiteasytony" on AOL IM, people...look me up!) and told me to check the email that I had listed on my resume. The company's recruiter had been trying to get in touch with me. Hee. I hadn't looked in a while since I didn't think that they were interested. I responded to the email and the interviews got set up.

The interview day came and it was one of those gauntlet type deals where I had to meet with 7–8 people from different departments. Overall I'd say it went well. I was wicked charming. And as it turns out, I kinda knew what I was talking about. Nice.

And then....nothing. For like longer than I felt comfortable with I didn't hear a peep from anyone attached to the hiring. This of course makes me go right to the worst-case scenario. Was it something I said? Didn't say? Didn't do? Crap. Then, finally a phone call from the recruiter dude saying that things went well at the interview and now the head of the department wanted to meet with me. Ok. No problem. "He would like to set up a breakfast meeting at a local hotel. How's 7:30 am on Friday?" Fuck me. Really? Ok. Breakfast at a hotel at 7 goddamn 30 on a FRIDAY. I'll be there.

I make my way to the hotel restaurant and meet up with the dept. head. We sit down at a table and the waiter brings us the menus. Now here's the thing. I had already eaten breakfast because I didn't want to be frickin' STARVING when I got there and then scarf down my meal while this guy tries to get a word in. "Can't talk. Eating." Yea, didn't want that. So I was not at all hungry. This menu was evil too. It had either really fou-fou stuff or straight-off-the-farm fare. There was no middle ground that I could find. Can a brother get a bagel? Nope. It's either a delicate fruit cup placed elegantly in a crystal bowl on a doily or 15 eggs served over a bacon stuffed pig with hash browns. Choose wisely.

Honestly, all I wanted was the damn fruit cup. Maybe a cup of coffee too. Now, I don't know this guy from a hole in the wall so I don't know what kinda guy he is. Is he the super-macho kind who would disapprove of guy ordering the fruit cup? Would that be a deal breaker for this guy? Would he even give a shit? I dunno. Am I over-thinking this? Shouldn't I just get what I want and be done with it? Why am I obsessing over what this guy would think about my breakfast choice? I'm not even hungry for fuck's sake. I'll just order the fruit cup and own the consequences if there are any. Who's this guy anyway? Why is he judging my food choices? What's wrong with a man ordering from the fou-fou side of the menu? Plus, it's by far the cheapest thing on here. Who pays $10.50 for eggs? Assholes, that's who. I'll be showing him that I'm fiscally responsible by getting the fruit cup. I'm getting the fruit dammit. That's FINAL.

"Mark, why don't you order first?" he said as the waiter turned to me. "Really? Ok... I'll have the giant plate of eggs and pork please." Of course I will. And what did he order you ask? Yes. The fruit cup. Well Mother Fuck.

But all that doesn't seem to matter after all. On Friday July 3rd I got the offer letter in the mail and signed that bad boy right away. I gave notice at my current gig this past Monday and this upcoming week will be my final week there. I have nothing but good things to say about my old job. They gave me a shot 5 years ago and I've learned quite a bit since I've been there. I had completely changed careers when I came there and I'm grateful for the opportunities they gave me. I know all that sounds corny but it's the truth.

Wish me luck. This is going to be interesting.